Friday, March 12, 2010


yesterday I didn't feel so hot, so i watched the news with my dad. there was a story about a baby that was on life support and the parents had to pull the plug my dad asked why this is news and said that happens everyday, he said that about a lot of things except this story about birth control and heart palpitations and smokers. this other story was about a kid who called 911 when there were 2 gunmen in the house he locked himself and his sister in the bathroom they play the 911 call and you can hear them screaming. the story ended saying young carlos or whatever his name was wanted everyone to know it was his sister that was screaming not him, the news anchor chuckled and said thats cute. my dad said thats not cute that's disturbing, what kind of house was this, the story should be about why 2 gunmen were in their house in the first place. then i said dad let's watch something other than news. we watched the simpsons for 2 minutes and just sat in silence, it wasn't funny. we flipped through the channels all i remember is the life story of paula abdul. then he stopped on franklin, after a minute he said, whats his name again? i said franklin. we watched the whole episode. it was really cool how all those shows are not very funny and are just about helping your mom in the kitchen and stuff. poor kids, no wonder.


then my mom came home and asked me if i wanted to go to a church mission. i said yes. i thought it could give me some information. i haven't been to church since christmas which is saying alot cause prior to this october i had been made to attend church (19 years of age), every sunday since birth. it was about finding your gifts, i thought it would be funny. it was. the speaker was a moron, they ask you for money so he can travel the world and give this talk about your gifts and where does it go? what does serving the church do? just makes the church bigger i guess. he was talking about how in indiana if your child shows the slightest interest in basketball at a young age they start their basketball education, he said that this is true with small catholic children that they need catechism and shit. he said he was blown away by the faith of the small children receiving confession for the first time. that they were so excited for the sacrament. kids have no faith or any idea what the fuck is going on. the girls get to wear a dress and the boys get to go into the small dark room with the red and green lights previously forbidden to them, and everyone gets to eat cookies and juice and shit. anyways he said that faith needs to be nurtured or something. the priest of the church was sitting eyes closed nodding his head, gross. the one story i remember that was just you know astounding and everything really fucking inspiring and eye opening, the heads were nodding around the place really.

(Father Dan Mahan)

he said a priest went into a school, this is something they say in all their priest stories that probably aren't true but they say to make some grand point. a priest went into a liquor store, two bishops were on a plane, whateverwhatever.  so this was was about a priest in a school who brought a jug with 4 golf balls in it. the priest asked the children, hey kids is this jug full? yesss. then he took a bag of small pebbles and rocks and poured it into the jug. is this jug full now? yess. so then the priest pulls out a bag of sand and pours that in there to and it fills in all the holes and he asks again if the jug is full and the kids say yes. THEN the priest takes two beers and pours it in the jug so it's OVERFLOWING and again the children confirm that the jug is in fact full. now the point of this story apparently is that the golf balls are faith, family, health and something else that i forget or maybe there were only 3 balls. but those things are the most important things and you have to put them in your jug first or else they wont fit (cute, this man is fucking 50 years old and gets paid to do this shit) then he said the pebbles were the things like your home and your possessions that you would be sad to loose but you wouldn't be devastated completely. then the sand was "all the other things in your life" and then he said a child said hey father why the beer? and the priest said. there's always room for a few beers


everyone in the church chuckles, i stare at them chuckling then laugh hysterically 5 seconds later.

i just dont understand what people believe in i know that they believe in jesus and that he said some nice things about the way people are and should be but it doesn't really seem all that spiritual it just seems really ritual and then they just plan all this stuff around rituals and getting more people to take part in the ritual and getting people to give you money so you can build nicer places to have the rituals and have some guy tell stories where the point of them all is that god is the most important thing in your life and that your life is to serve the church. that all your gifts and talents should be used to serve the church. i feel bad that i was invited and i was just taking a piss but i didn't think it was a waste of time.

oh yah before it ended he talked about abortion and pornography and said that people who are guilty of these sins should stay behind.

he told the porn lovers to visit this website

so i tried to visit so i could put a link here and there's nothing there. i tried to find it and i ended up getting porn. so every man at church last night that was looking for support, that logged on and typed in and found nothing and then tried searching for it online probably found what i found

Danielle: was that guy luger or a bobsledder, the one that died

Kieran: he was a luger, a luger, he didn't win

Danielle: never too soon dad

Kieran: i came around on the paralympics 


  1. This is the greatest thing I have ever read.

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. This is really refresshing to read. Your perspective is real cool. worked for me, but what came up when you searche is really funny.